I ARE KILLA!

hm, bittersweet post no?

2009-12-14T21:29:39Z

Yesterday I got a fortune cookie and the inside said "You will overcome a great sadness". Hm, I hope that is true. My dog has been dead for over a week now and I still miss her. She was my best friend for 18 years. Now that shes gone is feels really surreal. I'm use to going home and she so happy to see me and it makes me feel so welcome and happy to come home, now that she is gone it feels empty. I really miss her. She was a living thing that I could talk to without being judged and I could always cuddle with her when I feel sad.
Every time that I remember my dog dying I see her eyes, when I picked her up when she was dying she had these eyes that I can't explain. I just think about that a lot.

I feel kind of bad that I am getting new dog so soon but I don't really now how to live without one and I don't think Eggy would want me to be alone. So I shall be getting a new dog this winter break. I've wanted Ajax since I first met her, she is the sweetest dog ever and is so cute. I know that I 'm not getting her as a rebound dog and I will not treat her the same as I did Egglo. She will be someone new that I can love and take care of so I'm really excited to get her. Can't wait.

And o my Eggy who I know is reading my eljay where ever she is I hope she know that I love her and she was such a great dog and in her next life I hope I can meet her again even though she will be a lot younger then me.... Yes, I do believe that things get reincarnated when they die. I may not believe in God or anything like that but I do believe that everyone has a soul. Hm look at that I threw some beliefs and shit into this post.

I'm ashamed to say it but...

2009-12-05T03:48:50Z

Tuekie is starting to grow on me...He's really annoying but I enjoy him nonetheless. Kangin in growing on me too...Damn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQaF_JJx_nA

Oh and I can't figure out why my thing always screws up the embedded code thingy help?

Lawl

2009-11-06T02:32:33Z

Yes these two images explain a lot...

Does you like Mimi chest I do

2009-10-30T15:26:30Z

Shit, UC essays. This is probably one of the most stressful time for seniors or high school students in general I'm actually getting a zit cause I'm so stressed. rhejfkvewoiughjrvsoujv

I'm thinking about trying out for SM next year even though I've been told they are a failing company. I hope not. Can't try out this year cause they are in L to the A and CANADA. Canada probably has more talent then us... and better health insurance..fo' sho'

Oh I'm thinking about getting a Mac just for the fact that they don't get viruses...and knowing me I will get them.

I really don't have that much to say about things...I'm so tired. ugh need to study for govt need to pass.

E-P-I-K

2009-10-19T20:40:26Z

Epik High till the death of me

2009-10-08T23:50:12Z

http://www.allkpop.com/index.php/full_story/epik_high_says_goodbye/

Dude...This made me sad. But hey you know they are so loyal to each other its really touching. I hope that tablo and tukutz both have a happy life. Man, that sucks for Tukutz.

看我看看我

2009-10-05T23:29:14Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-3pcHwxmJg

The frickin embeded stuff doesn't work for me D^:( FUKUTAICHOU FIX IT!

I've been avoiding watching this video for a while just cause but it surprisingly catchy, the chorus amuses me. Oh my Super girl 你是我的 Baby girl 他看不见你的美丽平凡背后的魔力Oh my Super girl我是你的 Super Man. It is wuite amusing.

This video really make me want to learn Mandarin again and I am on the search for an actual teacher. Oh also looking for a violin teacher hopefully the chinatown here. Sadly the amount of teachers here is a lot less than it is in L.A.

A part of this song made me think of my childhood, 他送你的花, ta song ni de hua, haha it reminds me of the first word I said Fa fa 花花. There a picture of me holding a huge flower in one of the picture books, its cute. Man I wish I was a kid again...don't you guys sometimes wish you were kids again?

Sorry for the amount of asian need to get it out.

My feet are killing me

2009-09-30T20:17:09Z

AHHHHH I got these new shoes and they are killing me. I'm still trying to break into them or break them in, not sure how the saying goes. Other then new shoes life is pretty going on like normal. I'm in a few clubs though the save the animals club and that other one.

Yearbook pictures are confusing I can't seem to figure out how to get them and customer service is busy. What do i do! You know I need to start posting picture on this thing...Maybe sometime later this week.

Does anyone read this shit?

2009-09-28T21:08:37Z

You know I really wonder if anyone I know actually reads this. *shrug* ah well.

Well school has started for me again, my last year of high school. You even though I'm far from graduating I have no idea what I'm going to do after. I have this insane gut-wrenching urge to go to Hong Kong, like now. You know what I wonder what's going to happen to all of us. I mean what really tells us what we need to do in life. I feel like any normal job won't wok for me I personally need to be somewhere where I can help other I mean really help them, I want to be someone that people can actually look up to. Its kind of a shelfish thing to wish though isn't it. I mean shouldn't I be happy just going to Hong Kong to teach English, I mean it is something I wouldn't mind doing but I want so much more.

Sometimes everything just feels so surreal you know. Like I'm just kind of floating as the day just flies past me and I wake up to another day that is exactly the same. Everything feels so monotonous. You know I just have this urge to play music I mean I know its a crazy dream but its never to late to strive for it. I mean even if I never make it big you know what, at least I tried. I will try my best to follow my idols and hey maybe one day it'll happen but I'll never know if I don't try right? One day I hope to one of the best.

TA-BA-LO

2009-09-08T20:23:12Z

EEEEEEH Tablo's going to get married. I'm so excited for him

Superhero

2009-06-12T15:41:45Z

I'm so gad that miyavi came out with a new song. It sounds like a mixture of his old and new with a computery stuff. I personally like it, I hope to see more of this style. I hope that his new family is doing ok and that his baby will be born healthy. Good luck Miyavi!

schoolage

2009-06-10T17:13:51Z

We only have a couple more days of school left and then we are done! Currently I'm sitting in my English class listening to 2ne1 really loudly. There really isn't much for me to look forward to I guess I just hope that I pass my classes.

Next week I have to start going to work. ten bucks an hour for filing, 80 dollars a day for about 2-3 weeks so that's not bad. So what is that 400 a week. That's pretty good. :^]

ugh I'm so tired. we have to do this thing in English where we sit in a circle and talk about things ah this is so stupid. I wanna be fierce like CL. She's so cool.

I was thinking when I get down to L.A. I would take some forgein language courses, maybe either Japanese, Korean, or German. I don't know imght be fun

chocofuckeclair @ 2009-06-05T08:02:00

2009-06-05T15:19:12Z

2 more weeks!

2009-06-01T16:28:23Z

There are only two more weeks of school left. Yay and I'm passing the majority o f my classes. I mean I woud like better grades but I'm not picky. I don't think I'm going to pass photography though oh well.

I feel much better now then I did last week. For some reason now I don't care as much that they aren't talking to me. I mean I would like to talk it out with them but if they don't want to then I'm fine with that, just shows how much I was actually worth to them. *shrug*

I got new clothes finally, I got a Hello Kitty T-shirt and pants and a NY t-shirt. Its really cute <3.

I realize that the only reason that I stayed here was because of them but now that I think of it that was so stupid. Why should I be somewhere I don't want because of someone else. I've decided that now I'm going to do things for myself, I'm not going to be held back anymore.

I go by the name of CL

2009-05-29T16:05:15Z

I've been vey in love with this song. CL is so frickin cool, as Grace would say she is fierce.

While typing this I got into an arguement with ms. hurtgen ahh I hate her she won't leave me alone and there is no way that I'm going to be able to pass this class anyways. I'm just sitting in this class now wasting my life away. I can't wait to get out of this school. I'm so sick of it. Like yesterday I was suppose to see my Chem teacher and she tells me to show up at the end of lunch and she is not there gah.

Gah i'm so bored there is nothing here to do. I want to go home and be with my doggys. I want to learn how to dance do something with my time, I need to lose weight anyways. Thats what I'm going to do during the summer. Go on an extreme diet. I wish I was full asian hgiurejhgnariuwjdk

Ah next year I'm not going to have a lot of classes YAY time to get lazy. I wonder what school I'm going to next year. I think I have enough credits to pass. oh well. I think that I'm going to spend most of my summer in L.A. maybe I can find a job there. I also want to learn Japanese, maybe I can find somewhere down there to learn it. I should also work on my Mandarin. Oh I also want to watch Star Trek with my mom while I'm down there, I think that Egglo will be happy to be with Chimi too.

sore

2009-05-27T15:33:48Z

I'm really sore, I think its the way I've been sleeping. That really doesn't explain why my legs are sore though...

I think I feel another on coming

2009-05-26T21:57:09Z

I don't feel very great. Maybe its because of the pressure I' under, trying to raise all your grades in a short amount of time is really not that fun. I have the worst headache right now. The thing is is that I know I can do it but I don't have any motivation to. When I think about it, really think about it I don't know what's going to happen after high school. I wonder what will happen, I can't seem to get my act together no matter how hard I try I feel physically and mentally exhausted.

I also feel like I'm kind of slipping away from people that I care about. I don't feel connected to anyone anymore. When I'm around people it feels extremely awkward and that I'm not really wanted. I don't know why i feel that, its not like they are all being that mean to me I just feel really unwanted and lonely. It really kind of seems like I don't have anyone to talk to anymore.

My family has seemed more distant then ever to me also. I'm afraid to let them down with my grades and I'm afraid that I'm going to overstay my welcome at this house as well. Getting kicked out of my other house was great I feel a lot better now that I live where I am. It just when I think about I realize how messed up that was. To take someone from their original home and then when they can't deal with me anymore I'm just kind of thrown away.

I feel like something needs to change, I think I might leave this place and go back to L.A. I don't think I can live here anymore. What do I do? I keep asking myself that, honestly I don't even know what the right choice for me is anymore.

THERE IS A PROXY!

2009-02-23T17:01:48Z

There is a proxy to get into livejournal and other sites! proxy2.ericzhang.com :^D I get m eljay!

Why do I like ugly people?

2009-02-17T23:24:07Z

Yay! I'm in L.A. currently, visiting my family. I can't really hang otu with my friends either cause I'm stuck watching my cousins T.T There really isn't much for me to do right now ... Eh I'm too lazy to finish what I have to say, maybe I'll come back later..

NO SEXUAL HARRASEMENT! NO LEERING!

2009-01-28T16:55:20Z

Ahh I'm so tired all the time now, even when I get 50 hours of sleep I'm soooo tired. Maybe I'm dying...Oh well.

I'm suppose to be working on a project in photography but there isn't really much to do, I mean we aren't taking any pictures so I'm not really motivated to do it. This class is getting so boring, I mean it's photography and I haven't taken a picture in months! All in all I'm pretty much bored with this class.

I noticed that there are a lot of people at this school that complain a lot about things and try to top other people with their "sad stories", it gets kind of annoying after a while and people that I'm not even that close to want tme to feel bad for them.

Oh Chinese New Year passed! Tis the year of the Ox! Yeah time for a new beginning!

I would like to go to Japan with Nanny but I don't think I have enough money and no one in my family will pay for it so I figure I should just save my money for clothing. I wish I had money.

OMG I LOVE THE BLO!!!! He reminds me of a mouse but I think that hes's soo cute *pinches cheeeecks*

Hopefully I will be able to dance for ASU even if I do take the position of a guy, that would actually make me more pleasure. :^D

FUCKIN TOKIO HOTEL IS STUCK IN MAH HEAD! MONSUN!

2009-01-23T17:15:55Z

Ahhh I love my new Ipod! <333333 THANK YOU SOO MUCH HINA-CHAN! <3333 WO AI NI!

Isn;t it kind of sad that I haven't taken a picture in photography for a while....Right now we are doing this stupid color project that makes me feel like a preschool student cept more fancy. I used a picture of myself cause I can't stand looking at someone else's face for such a long time unless its my friends or that one bitch...Damn eljay I can't even concentrate on what I need to. O well I'll just get an advisory pass.

I think I should give up on this kid it would cause me a lot less hadnjghbawughrhghugiuhgrahiu! But I'm really stubborn so I hate giving up...except on things I don't care about...

Finals

2009-01-14T17:35:53Z

AHHH Finals are totally stressing me out! I'm on the brink of failing a lot of classes, so I'm pretty much relaying in my finals to help me. I guess I have to take summer school. O well I was planning to stay here anyways to work so I guess I'm not going to L.A. But I really need money so its ok I guess.

Lately my head has been killing me. From when I wake up to when I go to sleep its pounding.

I don't want to be like you an I wanna be free

2009-01-12T17:23:51Z

I don’t wanna see like you and
I don’t wanna be like you and
I wanna be free so break it down
Swallow the sun and give it everything you got
I don’t wanna think like you and
I don’t wanna stink like you and
I wanna be me so break it down
Swallow the moon and give it everything you got

I really like this song a lot and it fits very well with my stressful life. It also fit it very well at my breakdown lawl.

The sky is breaking down.

Hair cut?

2009-01-09T17:14:17Z

I'm starting to get bored of of this haircut so I think it's time to change it. I don't think my hair is long enough for me to change it drastically so I think I'm going to cut it in a similar sort of way. I was thinking of cutting it like the way Ruki had it during the FIRST PSC tour. Its kind of the same hairstyle but the dye is different. It won't be that big of a change.

http://community.livejournal.com/rllysrsphotos/104388.html

What do you guys think? Hm..not many people read my journal....

NO POINT IN POST!

2009-01-05T17:12:45Z

AHHHH I hate school. I can't believe it stated again T.T

There was a huge sale at bath and body works! IT WAS SOOO CHEAP! I got so many things <3 I love the smell of pomegranets.

After taking a break from my aunt and uncle its bern less tense I think but it still really awkward between my uncle and me.

I have sooo much money right now! :^D and Chinese New Year is coming up so that mean more money for me.

I just gave Nanny his present not that long ago. I got him some fake nails that I got at the mall. I think I might have left the price tag on..hm...I hope I didn't I also got hina-chan something. I feel bad that I didn't spend that much money...Nanny also said he got something for me so I kind of wonder what it is....I'm really hoping he DID NOT get me actual porn thats not gay...